Freelancers and Entrepreneurs — Let’s Examine Our Present and Recently Past Influences

What are the influences that are either helping or hindering you in your business and personal life? By making ourselves aware of them, we are more likely to work toward positive changes. In this article, my goal is to get you to examine your present and recently past influences.

The people we know, work and play with. Yes, we are heavily influenced by the people we let into our lives. If we hang out with negative, critical, complaining people, we can easily lose our enthusiasm and drive. If we join groups and make friends with those we want to emulate, we will be on our way. It is just like tennis and chess. The way one gets better is to play with someone who is better than we are. I am not suggesting that you drop the friends you have now, but I am suggesting that you join groups of winners, network with people who are known as successes and volunteer for worthy causes.

Life-long learning with books, tapes and magazines. It is astonishing to find out how few people read a book after graduation. I am sure that none of you reading this article would fall into that category. However, I must mention the wonderful scope of topics available today in book form, the plethora of tapes that inform and motivate — I listen and re-listen to tapes by Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn, Earl Nightingale and am always influenced to take a new action step toward success.

Visit your public library. It offers a wealth of influence — I always use my driving time to listen to tapes and CDs. In addition, there are almost too many magazines to read. I have found that the best way to benefit from the great information is to scan and then only read those articles that pertain to some part of my business or life. No matter what your specialty is, there are magazines that address your problems and situations.

Physical activity and a focus on health. One of the strongest influences on my well-being, business acumen, and energy level is daily exercise and sensible nutrition. Studies have shown that there are so many side benefits from regular exercise and proper eating that one could easily fill a wall with post-it notes listing them.

By pushing oxygen to the heart and brain, we keep both healthy and smart. If you are having a difficult time getting started, I suggest finding a buddy to go to the gym with you or work out with you. In the fitness classes I teach, the people who participate have become friends and they cheer each other on — another positive influence.

I ask you again, what are the influences in your freelance living? Are they helping or hindering your progress? What new and better influences can you and will you embrace in the future? What bad influences and toxic companions are presently draining you of your energy and passion for living?

It is time to make two lists — one with the bad influences (past and present) and one with the good influences. Congratulate yourself on the good influences and continue to pursue them. On the list with the bad influences, add an action step and a new influence to replace each one. Take action and you will be on your way to success!

A Thousand Miles from Home: A Birthday Present Worth Opening

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. — Chili Davis

She sits at home lamenting the passing of time. She took the afternoon off and thought there might be a phone call or possibly something in the mail, yet the mailman brought nothing but bills and the phone had been absolutely silent. Another birthday came and was ready to pass. She mindlessly clicked through a barren wasteland of television programs landing on nothing, feeling more anxious and abandoned with every passing moment.

Then the doorbell rang.

“Good afternoon.” The man before her is a delivery man but he was the cutest guy she’d seen in awhile.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

“Yes. If you could sign here,” He points to his computer clipboard.

“Sure.” She smiles, scribbling on the touch screen.

The man turns to go, “Oh, and happy birthday.”

“What?” She begins to blush.

“It’s on the packing slip.” He smiles and walks away.

“Uh,” she pauses, “thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” he calls as he gets into his delivery van.

She’s still glowing as she answers the ringing phone, “Hello.”

“Happy birthday, dear.”

“Mom?”

“What? Did you think I’d forget?”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“I wish I could be there, but there’s a thousand miles between you and me.”

“I’m just glad you called.”

“Say, there should be a package coming. It’s my birthday gift for you.”

“You know, the delivery guy just brought something to the door a few minutes ago.”

“That might be it. Sure hope you enjoy it.”

“I’m sure I will, Mom.”

Both were quiet for a moment.

“Mom?”

“Yes.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to open your birthday gift. Call me sometime.”

She presses the off button on the phone and examines the package. Among all the packing peanuts she discovers a unique kitchen gift. She immediately recognizes that it is something she could really use, but never would have thought to purchase it. Tears well up in her eyes as she removes the all-grown-up European Glass Teapot and cups. She had always invited her mom to her childhood tea parties. Perhaps Mom would come to another tea party a thousand miles from home.

There was a call she needed to make. … …

Bits and pieces of real life are played out everyday when young and old alike receive unique kitchen gifts as birthday presents.

There are so many choices when it comes to birthday gift giving, but most people spend a good deal of time in the kitchen and a kitchen gift provides a wonderfully remembered birthday present that is highly useful and decorative.

The tradition of gift giving is an engrained part of our cultural life. When you take the time to thoughtfully choose a birthday gift, it is most often one of the recipients most remembered birthday presents.

Special moments may be few are far between, but a kitchen gift may provide one of the best reasons to recall one of those best moments – a delivery guy, a phone call from Mom and a promised tea party.

Hate Can Lead To The Death of a Negotiation – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Hate Can Lead To The Death of a Negotiation”

Have you ever been so engulfed by hate when negotiating that you couldn’t think straight? Later, in a more calmer state of mind, you thought about responses you could have given that would have made the negotiation more palatable, more pleasant, more amenable per the outcome you sought. You’re wise enough to know, hate can lead to the death of a negotiation. You can prevent hate from hijacking your mind when negotiating by doing the following.

Forethoughts:

  • Hate is a very strong emotion.

Hate clouds the mind and thus the judgment of your decisions. That being a truism, you should know what triggers a shift in your emotional state of mind; that shift should be known from a good and bad perspective. Having such insights and being able to control them will give you greater control during the negotiation.

  • Be mindful not to view the other negotiator through a tainted lens.

Have you ever viewed someone through the lens of expectation? You may have thought, she’s just like ‘x’; I know what she’s like. The residue of your expectations will color your perspective of that person. Meanwhile, the person may not be anything like what you expected.

When you view the other negotiator through a tainted lens, you lose your ability to be subjective. Doing that can lead to misperceptions of intent, which in turn can turn the negotiation into a dark dead-end alley that eventually leads to the death of the negotiation.

  • Know your mind and that of the other negotiator.

Everyone is an individual. While many people may have similar thoughts that cause them to be viewed similarly, if you note the nuances that differentiate that person from his identified group, you can see the differences that person possesses from the group. To do so, you must know his mind and how he thinks. The same must also be true about you; you should understand what motivates you to adopt a particular action over another, and who you’re with when doing so. Such insights will give you a greater understanding of the psychological forces that motivate you and the other negotiator. Once identified, you’ll also have greater insights into the mental levers of psychological power you can use to manipulate yourself and him during the negotiation.

Be empathic:

  • Be willing to discuss emotions, while keeping an open mind.

Knowing you’re different from others is to know that they have their differences. If you keep an open mind, you’ll be capable of understanding the other negotiator. Thus, you can state at the beginning of the negotiation that you know he and you may see things differently, but you’re willing to enter into the negotiation with an open mind; be sure that you get his buy-in to do the same.

  • Know when it’s time to walk away.

Let’s be realistic. Due to the mindset of some people, you may not be able to reach an amicable outcome in a negotiation. Although you may empathize with someone’s perspective, know when to walk away; don’t be belligerent as you do. Always attempt to be respectful, understanding that a negotiation may reconvene at another time. As such, don’t poison the future with incendiary words today.

Sometimes a slammed door is the opening sound of opportunity. When you slam the door on hate in your negotiations you’ll be opening a door through which understanding can enter… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.