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Have you ever been nervous before a big sales presentation? Do your hands get sweaty just thinking about it? Does your stomach get all tied up in knots? How good are your presentation skills?

Does your mind start racing and imagining all the things that can go wrong? Is it hard to fall asleep the night before? When you wake up in the morning are you surrounded by a wall of butterflies?

Hey – I’ve been there and done that. That’s right, yours truly, author, professional speaker, and newsletter publisher has experienced all of the above.

So, are you wondering what happened to change all that? What changed and what allows me to feel very comfortable doing the things that once made me nervous and riddled with self-doubt?

Allow me to digress a little. I want you to know how bad my nervousness really was.

It all started in high school. I enjoyed the school politics. I got lucky and was elected sophomore and junior class president.

Lots of meetings and zero stand-up presentations.

Then, I somehow got elected president of the student body in my senior year.

Lots of meetings and I thought zero stand-up presentations.

I was in for the shock of my life. After the election, our high school principal, Mr. David Van Brunt, told me he had some additional duties for me during the next school year.

One of my new responsibilities included going on stage and leading the entire school, 900 students to be exact, in saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

So you’re thinking what could be easier?

Well it’s one thing to recite the Pledge when you’re standing up in front of your seat in the auditorium.

It’s something else to have to do it on stage facing 900 fellow students and all the teachers chit-chatting against the walls.

I won’t go into all the details about how nervous I was before the student assemblies – the only place you could find me an hour before show time was behind closed doors in the bathroom.

So that’s the problem. How did I fix it? In college, during an ROTC class, in my junior year, I was asked by the instructor to teach a class from a chapter in our textbook.

It was to be a 30 minute stand-up presentation to a group of 25.

Please read the next statement twice.

I was so scared – I prepared!

I was so scared – I prepared!

I didn’t sleep for two days.

Up to this point in my life I had never prepared so thoroughly as I did for this 30 minute stand-up presentation in front of my peers, and by the way all dressed in military uniforms.

Was I nervous – you bet!

Did I have the butterflies in the pit of my stomach – of course, but now they were flying in formation.

As soon as I began my presentation, the butterflies disappeared and all the anxiety was gone.

That’s the story and here’s the point.

Preparation eliminates anxiety! I never forgot that and neither should you.

Preparation turns self-doubt into self-confidence.

It just does!

“Hate Can Lead To The Death of a Negotiation”

Have you ever been so engulfed by hate when negotiating that you couldn’t think straight? Later, in a more calmer state of mind, you thought about responses you could have given that would have made the negotiation more palatable, more pleasant, more amenable per the outcome you sought. You’re wise enough to know, hate can lead to the death of a negotiation. You can prevent hate from hijacking your mind when negotiating by doing the following.

Forethoughts:

• Hate is a very strong emotion.

Hate clouds the mind and thus the judgment of your decisions. That being a truism, you should know what triggers a shift in your emotional state of mind; that shift should be known from a good and bad perspective. Having such insights and being able to control them will give you greater control during the negotiation.

• Be mindful not to view the other negotiator through a tainted lens.

Have you ever viewed someone through the lens of expectation? You may have thought, she’s just like ‘x’; I know what she’s like. The residue of your expectations will color your perspective of that person. Meanwhile, the person may not be anything like what you expected.

When you view the other negotiator through a tainted lens, you lose your ability to be subjective. Doing that can lead to misperceptions of intent, which in turn can turn the negotiation into a dark dead-end alley that eventually leads to the death of the negotiation.

• Know your mind and that of the other negotiator.

Everyone is an individual. While many people may have similar thoughts that cause them to be viewed similarly, if you note the nuances that differentiate that person from his identified group, you can see the differences that person possesses from the group. To do so, you must know his mind and how he thinks. The same must also be true about you; you should understand what motivates you to adopt a particular action over another, and who you’re with when doing so. Such insights will give you a greater understanding of the psychological forces that motivate you and the other negotiator. Once identified, you’ll also have greater insights into the mental levers of psychological power you can use to manipulate yourself and him during the negotiation.

Be empathic:

• Be willing to discuss emotions, while keeping an open mind.

Knowing you’re different from others is to know that they have their differences. If you keep an open mind, you’ll be capable of understanding the other negotiator. Thus, you can state at the beginning of the negotiation that you know he and you may see things differently, but you’re willing to enter into the negotiation with an open mind; be sure that you get his buy-in to do the same.

• Know when it’s time to walk away.

Let’s be realistic. Due to the mindset of some people, you may not be able to reach an amicable outcome in a negotiation. Although you may empathize with someone’s perspective, know when to walk away; don’t be belligerent as you do. Always attempt to be respectful, understanding that a negotiation may reconvene at another time. As such, don’t poison the future with incendiary words today.

Sometimes a slammed door is the opening sound of opportunity. When you slam the door on hate in your negotiations you’ll be opening a door through which understanding can enter… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

There are a number of ways that written materials can support and enhance an oral presentation.

I do a lot of public speaking, teaching, and training. I utilize PowerPoint slides extensively.

I also prepare written materials which I distribute to participants to take with them which serve as a reference tool so that when they have a question later, they can use those materials to refresh their recollection and clear up any confusion they may have. I make it a practice to include a cover and table of contents, as well as appropriate authoritative citations, so that the packet will be “user-friendly” and, thus, have an increased chance of being added to the participant’s library. I generally include a printed copy of my PowerPoint show, as well.

I believe that communicating information in three differing formats is the best way to assure comprehension and retention. The PowerPoint presentation serves primarily as an outline containing only key words, terms, and concepts. The written materials are extremely detailed, of course. And depending upon the topic, my speech may contain a lot of examples and illustrations that are not included in either of the written formats, along with some personal recollections.

Whether or not you should utilize such tools in your presentation depends upon a number of factors.

First of all, you must consider the subject matter, of course. What type of presentation are you making? Does the topic lend itself to the use of visual aids such as a PowerPoint show? Will such tools enhance or detract from the main points you are communicating? Will text, graphics and/or music assist your audience in not only understanding your presentation, but also in recollecting the main points over time? Will such displays “pound home” the message or can it be delivered more effectively with just the inflection, dynamics, tenor and tone of your spoken words?

Once you have decided that you want to utilize a PowerPoint presentation as you speak, there are some things you can do to maximize its effectiveness. Most importantly, bear in mind that a slide show or other graphical display should never be a script (although it can effectively serve as an outline, as explained below). I have suffered through too many interminably long presentations where the speaker thought that every salient point should be included in the PowerPoint show and, as if that weren’t bad enough, decided to read the content of the slides to the audience. Sadly, the information being imparted on most of those occasions was of interest to me, but the speaker could not hold my attention once he/she decided to stay “on script” rather than speak contemporaneously.

A PowerPoint show or other graphic presentation should be used solely to augment and clarify your oral commentary, but should never overtake or overshadow it. This is one area where the old adage “less is more” is applicable.

Note that I said bullet points. Not lengthy, rambling paragraphs of text, but, rather, short, concise synopses that the audience can jot down if they’d like. Bullet points can also be read quickly by the audience as you are speaking without deflecting attention from what you are saying. There is nothing worse than looking out into the faces of your audience to discover that they are no longer listening to you because they are focused completely on reading all of the verbiage set forth on the slides you are projecting.

I use custom animation so that I can dictate when specific key words, terms or phrases appear on the screen. For instance, I find that the audience remains engaged if you pepper your presentation with questions. Ask participants if they know the answer to a particular question and open the floor for discussion and questions. When you are ready to conclude the discussion and move on, you can announce, “Here’s the answer” or “Look at how things turned out,” at the moment that the relevant information is projected. This is particularly effective if you ask your audience to guess numbers, percentages or the outcome of hypothetical scenarios. It is fun to hear the gasps when the group is surprised by the correct or actual answer, leading to further enthusiastic discourse and a memorable presentation.

By organizing your PowerPoint slide show, you will find that you have organized your discussion. This is a great way to stay on track. Make sure that you include each and every important point you want to make during your presentation as a bullet or outline point. That way, when you glance at the slides as you are speaking, your memory will be jogged and you will be sure not only to mention those key points, but also elaborate upon them.

Finally, as to the aesthetics of the PowerPoint show, let your topic and audience guide your selections. If you are talking about a very serious, thought-provoking subject, the colors and graphics that you select will probably be different than those appropriate to a more light-hearted or fun conversation. The possibilities are limitless, bounded only by the constraints of your imagination.