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Have you ever been nervous before a big sales presentation? Do your hands get sweaty just thinking about it? Does your stomach get all tied up in knots? How good are your presentation skills?

Does your mind start racing and imagining all the things that can go wrong? Is it hard to fall asleep the night before? When you wake up in the morning are you surrounded by a wall of butterflies?

Hey – I’ve been there and done that. That’s right, yours truly, author, professional speaker, and newsletter publisher has experienced all of the above.

So, are you wondering what happened to change all that? What changed and what allows me to feel very comfortable doing the things that once made me nervous and riddled with self-doubt?

Allow me to digress a little. I want you to know how bad my nervousness really was.

It all started in high school. I enjoyed the school politics. I got lucky and was elected sophomore and junior class president.

Lots of meetings and zero stand-up presentations.

Then, I somehow got elected president of the student body in my senior year.

Lots of meetings and I thought zero stand-up presentations.

I was in for the shock of my life. After the election, our high school principal, Mr. David Van Brunt, told me he had some additional duties for me during the next school year.

One of my new responsibilities included going on stage and leading the entire school, 900 students to be exact, in saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

So you’re thinking what could be easier?

Well it’s one thing to recite the Pledge when you’re standing up in front of your seat in the auditorium.

It’s something else to have to do it on stage facing 900 fellow students and all the teachers chit-chatting against the walls.

I won’t go into all the details about how nervous I was before the student assemblies – the only place you could find me an hour before show time was behind closed doors in the bathroom.

So that’s the problem. How did I fix it? In college, during an ROTC class, in my junior year, I was asked by the instructor to teach a class from a chapter in our textbook.

It was to be a 30 minute stand-up presentation to a group of 25.

Please read the next statement twice.

I was so scared – I prepared!

I was so scared – I prepared!

I didn’t sleep for two days.

Up to this point in my life I had never prepared so thoroughly as I did for this 30 minute stand-up presentation in front of my peers, and by the way all dressed in military uniforms.

Was I nervous – you bet!

Did I have the butterflies in the pit of my stomach – of course, but now they were flying in formation.

As soon as I began my presentation, the butterflies disappeared and all the anxiety was gone.

That’s the story and here’s the point.

Preparation eliminates anxiety! I never forgot that and neither should you.

Preparation turns self-doubt into self-confidence.

It just does!

Learning how to connect with your audience is an important tool to succeed as a presenter. When we stand in front of a group we focus on keeping the attention of our listeners. What about connecting before and after the presentation? Find some suggestions below how to communicate with your audience beyond the actual presentation.

Connecting starts before the presentation:

When you write your speech, keep the audience in mind. Visualize who will be there and even better if you know some of them already, imagine John, Mary, Peter’s face as if you were speaking to them in person. Start to connect by asking yourself:

Who are these people?

Create a picture of your audience: are they young, old, active, involved in nature, people, technology, mostly male or female, single or married etc.

What do I know about them?

Do some research: check websites, associations, communities these people belong to and find out what interest them. For example if you speak at an annual convention, check the organization’s website or call the company to find out if they had some important news you should know about e.g. a ten year anniversary, opening of the first office abroad, an award they won etc.

Why should they come and listen?

What is the main objective for your audience? Will they learn something new? Are you there to present a new product or service? Are you a motivational speaker to uplift the energy in the room? What ‘gift’ will they receive from you? What is in it for them?

What do they know about the topic already?

Are you the first to address this topic? Who has spoken before you in the program, who comes next? What information was available to the audience before they entered your room. What is the level of understanding? These questions should be directed to the organizer or your main contact who hired you to do a presentation. Also at your office, check if you tuning in to the right level of knowledge.

What is my intention?

What would you like to offer them? Do you want to persuade them, inform them, make it easier to make a decision, start a discussion? Connect with your own objective and link it to the audience’s objective. Feel if your purpose supports their needs.

Create an emotional connection

After your research and writing your speech. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, center yourself, sit comfortably with a straight back and concentrate on your audience. Try to picture them, the room, the way you present and imagine how they feel: excited, tired, curious? See yourself giving an excellent presentation and that people are smiling and expressing their gratitude. Feel how good it is to be of service. Feel that you care for them and that your presentation will benefit them. While staying connected with this loving feeling, take a few breaths and open your eyes. Try to repeat this as often as you can before the presentation is due. It will feel as if you know everyone already which will create an intimate atmosphere.

Create a physical connection.

If there is a possibility before your presentation starts, stand at the door and shake hands with your audience and make them feel welcome. If time allows ask them some short questions to show (genuine!) interest e.g. “How was your flight?”, “Did you have a chance to see the city?”, How do you enjoy the program so far?” etc. If you are speaking to a large crowd you can do this on stage and address the whole group with a few questions to create a connection with the people in the room.

Connecting after the presentation

When you finish your presentation:

-Thank the audience out loud and from your heart.

-Tell them about the follow up if applicable: where will they find more info, when is the next meeting, presentation or update?

-Send slides and information as promised: add something personal if you can that reflects on the speech, person or event.

-Send answers to questions you did not know during meeting and promised to answer later.

-Send an evaluation form or even better ask them to fill it in straight after the meeting (arrange with the meeting planner).

-Connect with yourself: what went will that you’d like to repeat next time and what would you like to change about your presentation? Did you research make a difference, did you feel you were on the same wave length?

-Connect with the organizer to offer your services again.

When preparing for a presentation start to connect with your audience, during the presentation stay connected and after the presentation round off the connection. Connect through the heart and you will have success!

Nobody wants to pay too much for something, especially something as expensive as a home. No doubt you have friends or relatives who always seem to get great deals. What you should recognize is that there are proven tactics to negotiations, ones you can learn that will help you get a good deal on a home.

Have you ever heard the old saying, “don’t go grocery shopping on an empty stomach”? Very simply, it means that you shouldn’t put yourself in a situation where you’re apt to buy without thinking. This is very important if you want to negotiate a good price on a home.

The best time to buy a home is when you don’t absolutely need to. You won’t be feeling pressured to get a house before you have to move out of your existing home. When you’re not feeling pressured, you’ll be able to clearly spot a deal, and you’ll feel more comfortable walking away from negotiations that aren’t going the way you want them to.

Of course, in order to spot a deal you have to know what the going prices are. If you’re looking to get the best price on a house, spend some time researching homes that have sold in the areas you’re looking at. Pay particular attention to the homes that most closely resemble what you’re looking for.

Obviously, the best time to buy is in a down market such as we’ve seen in 2007 through 2009 (and maybe beyond). There are many times, though, when certain areas of the country are experiencing depressed prices. These times are to your advantage as a buyer.

When you’ve found a home you’re interested in, and you know its approximate value compared to other homes that have sold, you need to size up the seller. Is he wiling to negotiate? If not, it may be due to a few reasons: he isn’t strongly motivated to sell; he’s reduced his price as much as possible already; or he’s just being stubborn. If you don’t think the home is priced fairly, and the seller won’t budge, walk away. Chances are you’ll still see it on the market months later, and the seller will probably be more inclined to haggle on price.

Negotiating the best price on a home shouldn’t be a negative experience. In fact, the more pleasant the transaction, the more likely you are to get the best deal. The art of negotiating involves making the seller feel as though he’s winning, even if he isn’t.

Perhaps you’ve experienced this when buying a car. The sales person is ultra-friendly, comes across as being on your side, and wants to be as helpful as possible. When you make an offer on the car, though, the sales person has to “run it by the sales manager.” All the sales person is doing is letting the sales manager be the bad guy, and letting him say “no” to your offer.

You can do the same thing when negotiating a home price. Do your best to get concessions from the seller, then say that you need to run it by “the boss.” The boss could be your spouse, your father, your realtor, or just some imaginary person you created on the spot. The point is that you want to let someone else say no to the seller’s offer, while you remain his friend. If the seller has already made some concessions to you, there’s a good chance he’ll make more to satisfy “the boss.”

If the seller agrees early on to a price you think is good, don’t accept it right away unless you absolutely have to. Remember, you want to make the seller think he’s winning the negotiation. By accepting right away, you’ll make him wonder if he’s made a mistake. If you come back with a counter offer, he’ll likely think that he’s still winning, and may be open to reducing the price further.

Your demeanor is an important factor in negotiations. Most people talk too much after the other party presents an offer. It’s much better to say something along the lines of, “you’ll have to do better than that,” then wait to see what the seller has to say.

Contrary to what many people think, your demeanor shouldn’t be cool and collected when the seller present his offer. A look of shock or surprise on your part can throw the seller off balance and make him think he’s made a big mistake. If he really wants to sell, your reaction may get him to reduce the price further.

In almost every transaction, one party says, “why don’t we split the difference.” Don’t let that party be you. If you let the seller offer to split the difference, you’re again making him feel like he’s winning. If the negotiating continues, you’re still the one in control.

It always helps in negotiations to have something in your back pocket you’re willing to give up, even before the negotiations begin. It can be almost anything, as long as it makes the seller feel as though he’s winning.

One thing you must absolutely have in your back pocket is a clean offer. You wont’ be in any position to negotiate if you have to wait for the mortgage lender to approve you for a loan, or if the purchase is contingent upon the sale of your existing home. If you want to be able to negotiate, get pre-approved for the amount you want to borrow, and either sell your existing home or get approved for a bridge loan so you can carry your existing mortgage until the house sells.

You’re not going to be able to wheel and deal on every home you come across. Some homes attract buyers like bees to butter. Other homes will be so attractively priced that trying to negotiate would be pointless. If you come across one of these, and you want the home, buy it without reservation.

If the process of haggling on home prices isn’t something you enjoy, consider having someone else do it for you. Many people use realtors as buyers agents to good effect. The realtor will know the market, and should have the negotiating skills to get you a good price.