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One of the most rewarding holidays of the year is mothers day, a chance to give a little something back to our mum and let her know that we’re thinking about her and thankful for all that she has put up with from us. With that special day fast approaching it is perhaps time to consider what we can do to thank our mothers and grand mothers this year, for me it will essentially revolve around spoiling them both. For my mother and the kids grandma the day will usually begin with breakfast in bed and some initial gifts to get the ball rolling. From there, the day revolves around them and as much as they like spending time with the grandkids I think it’s better if they have time to relax and as such I usually book them a pampering session at the local beauty spa.

My main concern however is that this may be getting a little predictable and as such I want to really surprise grandma this year and I’ve been thinking along the lines of extra special gifts for grandma. My fiancee suggest a family photograph and whilst I think this could be a good idea, due to various circumstances the entire family wouldn’t be able to make it this year, however one thing that did spring to mind is perhaps a family history box. These genealogy reports come in various shapes and formats however one thing that I know about my mother is that she does love being a bit of a detective so I think ideally what would make the perfect gift would be something that would provide the basics and allow grandma to investigate further at her own pace using various online and local library type resources.

The more I thought about this, the more I realised this would make the perfect gifts for grandma and provide her with not only something fun and challenging to complete in the short term but would also provide a lasting image and indeed knowledge that would not only be useful now, but hopefully could be passed on down through the various generations of our family. All in all I think this could be one of the better gifts I’ve came up with and my fiancee certainly agrees, indeed we plan on providing similar gifts for both of our mothers and the kids grandparents this year and certainly is a present that is rather unusual and different from the norm. For me it certainly beats the annual trip to the health farm!

One party was in the majority, which meant they had control of the house. The other party performed a drastic act to challenge the power of the majority party. Thus began the challenge to power in the negotiation.

Power in a negotiation is the degree that one negotiator has it and the opposing negotiator agrees with him. It’s perceptional. It’s also the degree one negotiator will go to expose and use her power to advance her position. Since power ebbs and flows in a negotiation, some negotiators have it, don’t use it, and they lose it.

The following will allow you to identify when you’re in a power position in a negotiation and how to offset the opposing negotiator’s power.

Mental perspective of power:

Since power is perceptional it can be difficult to identify. If one negotiator is better at bluffing per what he’ll accept or reject, he can convey power while in reality, he’s in a much less powerful position than his exploits might indicate. To understand that negotiator’s potential power moves, understand the mindset he possesses and to what degree he’s willing to act powerful. Thus, knowing his mindset will give you insight into the amount of push-back you have to apply before he’ll back down. Having such insight and testing him will also give you insight into how he might perceive the power you wheel.

Timing your use of power:

When assessing when to use power, consider where you are in the negotiation. If you’re in the beginning, you might be more cautious about making a power move than if you were near the end and had to advance your position quickly. On the other hand, based on your strategy, you might make a power move early to set the tone and send a signal of the type of negotiation style you were going to engage in.

Thus, the timing of when you’ll display power and to what degree you’ll do so depends on what has occurred prior to your implementation of a power play, where you expect to be after you make it, and what emotional state you’ll leave the other negotiator in.

Per making a power move more powerful, if appropriate, don’t give any warning or advance notice prior to implementing it. The more of a surprise (I didn’t see that coming) you make such a move the greater will be its impact. After you execute a power move, measure its effectiveness to determine the degree you have more or less power.

Observe body language:

By observing the body language of the opposing negotiator when you make a power move, you’ll gain insight into his mindset, how impactful your power play was and how he might attempt to recover.

If you observe him taking deep breaths (that took the air out of me), rubbing his eye(s) (I didn’t see that coming), scratching at his forehead (I’ve got to think about this), leaning away from you/the table (I need to get away from this), all such gestures will telegraph the impact that your power display had on him. You’ll also be able to note the ups and downs of his mood.

As you can see, there are many aspects to consider when determining how, when, and why to use and display power in a negotiation. The better you become at detecting when you versus the other negotiator is in a power position, even if it’s when either of you are bluffing, the greater insight you’ll have per when to use power and to what degree to apply it. Such insight will lead you to more successful negotiation outcomes… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Nobody wants to pay too much for something, especially something as expensive as a home. No doubt you have friends or relatives who always seem to get great deals. What you should recognize is that there are proven tactics to negotiations, ones you can learn that will help you get a good deal on a home.

Have you ever heard the old saying, “don’t go grocery shopping on an empty stomach”? Very simply, it means that you shouldn’t put yourself in a situation where you’re apt to buy without thinking. This is very important if you want to negotiate a good price on a home.

The best time to buy a home is when you don’t absolutely need to. You won’t be feeling pressured to get a house before you have to move out of your existing home. When you’re not feeling pressured, you’ll be able to clearly spot a deal, and you’ll feel more comfortable walking away from negotiations that aren’t going the way you want them to.

Of course, in order to spot a deal you have to know what the going prices are. If you’re looking to get the best price on a house, spend some time researching homes that have sold in the areas you’re looking at. Pay particular attention to the homes that most closely resemble what you’re looking for.

Obviously, the best time to buy is in a down market such as we’ve seen in 2007 through 2009 (and maybe beyond). There are many times, though, when certain areas of the country are experiencing depressed prices. These times are to your advantage as a buyer.

When you’ve found a home you’re interested in, and you know its approximate value compared to other homes that have sold, you need to size up the seller. Is he wiling to negotiate? If not, it may be due to a few reasons: he isn’t strongly motivated to sell; he’s reduced his price as much as possible already; or he’s just being stubborn. If you don’t think the home is priced fairly, and the seller won’t budge, walk away. Chances are you’ll still see it on the market months later, and the seller will probably be more inclined to haggle on price.

Negotiating the best price on a home shouldn’t be a negative experience. In fact, the more pleasant the transaction, the more likely you are to get the best deal. The art of negotiating involves making the seller feel as though he’s winning, even if he isn’t.

Perhaps you’ve experienced this when buying a car. The sales person is ultra-friendly, comes across as being on your side, and wants to be as helpful as possible. When you make an offer on the car, though, the sales person has to “run it by the sales manager.” All the sales person is doing is letting the sales manager be the bad guy, and letting him say “no” to your offer.

You can do the same thing when negotiating a home price. Do your best to get concessions from the seller, then say that you need to run it by “the boss.” The boss could be your spouse, your father, your realtor, or just some imaginary person you created on the spot. The point is that you want to let someone else say no to the seller’s offer, while you remain his friend. If the seller has already made some concessions to you, there’s a good chance he’ll make more to satisfy “the boss.”

If the seller agrees early on to a price you think is good, don’t accept it right away unless you absolutely have to. Remember, you want to make the seller think he’s winning the negotiation. By accepting right away, you’ll make him wonder if he’s made a mistake. If you come back with a counter offer, he’ll likely think that he’s still winning, and may be open to reducing the price further.

Your demeanor is an important factor in negotiations. Most people talk too much after the other party presents an offer. It’s much better to say something along the lines of, “you’ll have to do better than that,” then wait to see what the seller has to say.

Contrary to what many people think, your demeanor shouldn’t be cool and collected when the seller present his offer. A look of shock or surprise on your part can throw the seller off balance and make him think he’s made a big mistake. If he really wants to sell, your reaction may get him to reduce the price further.

In almost every transaction, one party says, “why don’t we split the difference.” Don’t let that party be you. If you let the seller offer to split the difference, you’re again making him feel like he’s winning. If the negotiating continues, you’re still the one in control.

It always helps in negotiations to have something in your back pocket you’re willing to give up, even before the negotiations begin. It can be almost anything, as long as it makes the seller feel as though he’s winning.

One thing you must absolutely have in your back pocket is a clean offer. You wont’ be in any position to negotiate if you have to wait for the mortgage lender to approve you for a loan, or if the purchase is contingent upon the sale of your existing home. If you want to be able to negotiate, get pre-approved for the amount you want to borrow, and either sell your existing home or get approved for a bridge loan so you can carry your existing mortgage until the house sells.

You’re not going to be able to wheel and deal on every home you come across. Some homes attract buyers like bees to butter. Other homes will be so attractively priced that trying to negotiate would be pointless. If you come across one of these, and you want the home, buy it without reservation.

If the process of haggling on home prices isn’t something you enjoy, consider having someone else do it for you. Many people use realtors as buyers agents to good effect. The realtor will know the market, and should have the negotiating skills to get you a good price.